Wish My Parents Would Stop Fighting

Parent’s fighting keeps them from understanding how the divorce affects their children and knowing how to help their children. The fighting usually does not stop when the parents are divorced.

My parents separated/divorced 4 years ago when I was 13 years old but it feels like they have been separated forever. It’s hard for me to remember when they were still together.

Since I was young it has been a fear in the back of my mind that they would get divorced. I felt like that wouldn’t happen in my family though. I believed my parents really cared for each other. At first they would fight occasionally over stupid things like money or taxes. They would fight the most when there were big events like family vacations. Dad would make charts, tables and lists for what he wanted to do on vacation and when. My mom would flip out about that. For the last two years it seemed like they fought all the time. We had to sleep at a friend’s house some of the time. Things seemed to get better for a year but they still said they were going to get a divorce. They tried marriage counseling and it seemed like they had stopped fighting. We thought they were getting along better but now we think that they just weren’t talking to one another at all.

Since my parents divorced they don’t fight directly. They use lawyers, courts, legal documents and emails instead. They don’t scream at each other. This type of fighting doesn’t affect me or my siblings as much. I just accept they will fight with each other but it bothers my older brother the most. He is the angriest at mom and dad. He’s angry that the marriage didn’t work, and that mom left and got remarried. He had the closest relationship with mom and had the best relationship with our parents. As the years went on, mom was less able to tolerate anxiety and stress and for example, stopped reading with us.

After the divorce, dad felt guilty and took a lot of the parenting upon himself. Mom was very angry while dad was very guilty. They are both trying to save the family by fighting with each other. They blame each other for ruining the family in the past and present. If they win this battle of egos they will save the family by defeating the other one. The fighting that they are consumed with though, is what ruined the family in the first place.

After mom left I only saw her once a week so she wasn’t really there for us. Dad was depressed so he wasn’t really there for us either. They are trying to get it together by fighting. They realize that they didn’t pay a lot of attention to their children. If they really get it together and stop fighting they may be able to help us out.

I Hated when Daddy Move Out

A child’s relationship with his/her parents is very special. Sometimes a divorce interferes with this relationship.

Ever since mommy and daddy started to divorce it has been hard. I hated when daddy moved out because I love seeing him. I love spending time with daddy – spending time with him is very special to me. Daddy lets Sam and I fall asleep in his bed and then he moves us to our own bed. Mommy won’t do that. She isn’t as nice as daddy. I love spending time with my daddy and I miss him.

I wish I could tell him how upset I get when I can’t stay over night when I am supposed to. I can’t tell him because I don’t want to upset him or make him angry.

Divorce is Both Good and Bad

This child has a mature perspective on the things that happen when parents divorce and how it affects the children.

Divorce can be good or bad, it depends. Divorce is good for the children because they don’t hear as much fighting from the parents. It can also be good because their parents have a chance at being happier.

The parents could, though, mess this up and find someone else to fight with. That would be a shame. I sure hope that the next time they find someone they can get along with them.

Divorce is also good because you can see your parents individually and get to know them a whole lot better. You have a chance at having a good relationship with both of them. You also get to spend time with the other family members on each side. This can be hard, though, when your parents are still angry at each other. When that happens they don’t want you to like the other parent or they don’t want you to have a good relationship with them.

Divorce can be bad when you can’t spend time with both of your parents on holidays. They also talk badly about the other parent, and you don’t get to see one as much as the other. The parents fight over you – in doing this they put you in situations you don’t want to be in. Their anger spills over on to you.

When I First Learned About the Divorce

Children learn about divorce from different sources

I first learned about the divorce when mommy and daddy sat me down and said “we have something important to tell you.” They told us that they were not going to live with each other any more.

One day I told my best friend, Julia, all about the divorce. She didn’t know what divorce meant. I told her how parents break up sometimes. One lives in one house and the other one lives in a different house. Julia was very sad for me when she heard this.

Mommy and Daddy are divorcing but they still have plenty to fight about. Now they are fighting about a swing set. Can you imagine grown ups fighting about a swing set?

Bad Mom – II

The residential parent usually gets the worst from the child and may be unappreciated. Sometimes a parent may become so involved (wrapped-up) in their own issues they are less affective as a parent.

You usually think Mom’s have your best interest in their heart. But there are some moms, who are bad, “Bad Moms”. They are selfish and don’t really care about you. It makes you wonder if they are like this all the time, or just with you.

When other people are around its like every thing is OK but when the other people leave its like everything is wrong. When you think about it you wish you had a mom that wasn’t so bad – that you had a mom that didn’t make you sad. Moms are supposed to help you reach for your goals and dreams. Bad moms don’t help unless they can get something out of it for themselves. They are selfish.

When you have a bad mom you feel she is out to get you. You feel uncomfortable about her as if she’s out to get you. With a bad mom you feel like there’s nowhere to go.

Bad Mommy – Good Daddy

This child likes his mother and is being playful in calling her “Bad Mommy”. Like many other children of divorce, this child is caught in a mixture of feelings that tug at one’s heart strings. We also can get a glimpse of what the child sees the father going through.

Bad Mommy

Most mommies are nice but my mommy is bad - just bad. I don’t know why my mommy is bad. I think she was born that way.

My mommy hits me and yells at me and even spanks my butt. I think she likes being mean. Once I had to go in my room all day – can you believe that – making me go in my room all day. My mommy only lets me sleep with my brother on the weekends. Daddy lets me and my brother sleep together in Daddy’s bed.

Mommy is mean to daddy also. She calls him names and made him leave the house. Now I am going to have a divorce – and she caused it. My daddy is so sad, cause he can’t see us most of the time.

Nice daddy

Daddy is nice. He lets me and brother stay up late. He takes me to work. He tells me I’m special. He got me an I-pod and he said he would give me a cell phone for my birthday.

Sometimes he gets mad at me about the divorce. He’s afraid he won’t see us anymore. Daddy gets sad a lot and this makes me sad. He cries and doesn’t answer me. Daddy gets his tears on me when he cries. I feel mad when he doesn’t answer me.

I think daddy is jealous of mommy because we live with her. He’s mad that he can’t go in his own house cause mommy won’t let him. He’s mad because he thinks mommy is trying to take us away from him.

I Wish Mom & Dad Would Remarry

Children whose parents are divorced frequently have the fantasy that they will remarry. This child is upset and needs to be comforted.

My mom and dad are divorced. The best thing would be if they remarried. Some days I don’t know if I am suppose to be with mom or dad. If they remarried I could be with both of them and I wouldn’t have to remember who I am supposed to be with.

When dad and mom were married and I was a baby and had bad dreams, they wouldn’t let me in there bed. I kicked on my bed.

I had a “stuffy” when I was born and I still have it. Dad says throw it away because I am getting old. I don’t want to throw it away because I always sleep with it. The “stuffy” is getting ripped on his arm and most of his head. Mom says I should put it in a box with a ribbon on it and save it. I want to keep it in my bed forever.

I Have Two Houses

Divorce is hard on children. They may wish their parents would remarry, even years later. Most children want to keep their connection to both parents but this can be difficult because they can only be with one at a time. The parenting time schedule can be hard on them and when they are with one parent they may miss and worry about the other parent.


I have two houses. Sometimes I live with mom and sometimes I live with dad. I didn’t like having two houses because I like being at my mom’s house more than my dads. I don’t really like living at dad’s house because he makes me eat vegetables and I don’t like his new wife. What I wish more than anything is that my mom and dad would love each other again and be married again. That would make me happier.

It’s confusing and hard to live at two houses because it is hard to know what is going on and when I’m going to be with which parent.

I told my father that living at two houses was hard for me. My parents decided that I could live at my mom’s house and spend time with my dad every other weekend instead. This is great. Now I have one house and know what’s going on.

There is another problem though. When I am with mom the time goes too fast and I worry that I won’t see her on the weekends that I am with dad. Mom says that I get anxious but I don’t know what that word means. I think it means something like worried. I worry about going to my dad’s house, and I am sad the day before I go to his house. When I get to dad’s house I feel sad but I try to hide this because I don’t want him to be upset. I am afraid he will change the schedule back to when I had two houses.

I love mom and dad very much and I don’t want either of them to get upset. It is hard for kids to have divorced parents because at first before we changed the schedule, I only saw mom two days of the week. That was only a little bit of time. I missed her. This was when mom and I lived with mom’s parents. We couldn’t find another house to stay at. Later mom got her house back when dad moved out of it.

It Wasn't About the Pencils

Anger and hurt in children can come out in many different ways. Sometimes it doesn’t appear to be connected to the original source. These emotions may be displaced onto other situations and other people. Usually there is a thread of connection but we may not be able to see it.

I was so upset. I was yelling and screaming and I didn’t care. Jamie was teasing me by copying everything I did and everything I said. I was so mad. I told Jamie to stop it. And when I told him to stop it, he said, “Stop it.” That made me madder.
Mommy bought six pencils at the school store. Jamie told her he only wanted the rainbow colored pencil and didn’t want the others. When I told mommy I would take the other pencils, Jamie said he wanted them. We couldn’t agree on which color pencils each of us would get. I wanted the pencils he wanted just so he couldn’t have them. And he wanted the pencils I wanted so I couldn’t have them. We were being mean to each other. Mommy tried to work it out, but we wouldn’t let anything work. She made a lot of suggestions. Me and Jamie said, “No” to everything mommy suggested.
Later, mommy and I were talking. I told her I was upset because daddy was only going to take me for one sleep over this week and not two, like he usually does. I love seeing daddy and wish he still lived with us. When I can’t see him I get so upset, sad and angry. Before when I was screaming and yelling, maybe it wasn’t because I wanted the pencils. Maybe, it was because I couldn’t see daddy for two nights this week.

Introduction to Children's Stories about Divorce

What do children say when their parents are divorcing? How do they deal with the divorce of their parents? Within this blog are stories that children have told me about divorce. These stories illustrate what happens to children when there is a divorce in their family. They can also help us understand about the psyche of children and different ways that they deal with stressful events in their lives.